I am not a germaphobe. I have a dog that sheds and tracks dirt, dander, and various forms of whatnot throughout my house. I have small children that are walking disasters of germs, goop, yuck, and ick. I have an alarm set in my phone that reminds me to take showers and change clothes (and you wondered why I always have the same shirt on) … I am not a germaphobe.
However, there are shows that I have been a part of, hands that I have shaken, microphones that I have talked into, and general environments that I have ended up in that have started to give my stomach a starting off point for doing a tiny heebie-jeebie dance.
I have started using Purell. But, it’s not like I carry any in my pocket. And – only on the rarest of occasion has my ‘fight or flight’ trigger actually go off – but – it has happened. Am I a bad person? (Don’t answer that.)
I know a bunch of people who are worse off than me and can’t stand to be around ‘glad handing’ and slapping people on the back but I don’t know if I want to join their club. When going to give people high-fives lately, my hand does this weird claw thing where my fingers bend down at the knuckle towards the palm. It is creepy and weird. I think comedy might be ruining me – and – I just might be a germaphobe.