Hooray for me, it’s my birthday! So – why am I so itchy and not bouncing around and whatnot?! It’s my big day. I get treats and prizes and presents and doo-dads and cake and ice cream and all sorts of special thing-a-ma-bobbers – right? I might even get a party with games or something – that would be phenomenal.
So – again – I ask … Why such a lump, Bumpercar?
It’s because – even though it is my big day … All I’m thinking of is where a mic might be tonight. Where can I drop in and do a few minutes – of nothing in particular? I don’t want to have a ‘birthday set’ where everyone is just thrilled that it’s my birthday and rides that wave of joy to laughter island … I’m just hungry to do some time, make some jokes, and enjoy the show.
This could be because last year, I produced a roast of me for my birthday, and my brain just now assumes that birthday’s and comedy go together like nerds and frozen yogurt … I’m not sure. I can’t put my finger on it – but – one thing that I am totally sure of is that it is my stinking birthday – and – I want it to be the best day in all-of-ever – and comedy isn’t even letting me focus on enjoying my breakfast cupcakes …
Maybe tonight at hibachi, in between the shrimp that looks like a rabbit, or the smoking choo-choo, or the fiery volcano, the nice man with the knives will let me do a guest spot … because nothing goes better with jokes than trying to catch pieces of zucchini in your mouth that are thrown from a spatula – right?! No. Tonight is my night to try to enjoy watching someone elses show – with the ‘egg-roll’ pun, the ‘japanese ketchup’ joke, and everything else. Thanks for trying to distract me and ruin my birthday, comedy … But – this time – you lose!