Dive into the quirky world of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, a side-splitting improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners on the edge of their seats. Join the irrepressible Natty Bumpercar as he shares a hilariously harrowing tale of a scary medical mishap. With his trademark wit and charm, Natty takes you on a rollercoaster ride of laughter and absurdity, offering a unique blend of humor and heart in every episode. Tune in for an unforgettable comedic experience that will leave you in stitches and craving more. Don’t miss out—hit play and join Natty Bumpercar on his comedic journey through the ups and downs of life in Coffee-Can Alley!

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Transcription

Natty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.

And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

In this uproarious episode, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and the hilariously unexpected Turkey—dive headfirst into the world of podcast management. As they engage in side-splitting conversations with a mysterious someone, listeners are treated to a delightful blend of quick-witted banter and comedic genius.

The episode unfolds with the gang navigating the challenges of running their unconventional podcast, providing a unique behind-the-scenes peek into the hilarious happenings in Coffee-Can Alley. Whether you’re a longtime fan or a newcomer, the Bumperpodcast guarantees a comedy adventure like no other. Join Rufus, Producer, Aloysius, and Turkey in this episode that promises laughs, surprises, and an unforgettable glimpse into the whimsical world of podcast management in Coffee-Can Alley. Don’t miss the fun—hit play and let the laughter begin!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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Bumperpodcast Turkey Episode Cover
Transcription

Aloysius J. Pig 0:04
Yeah, so everybody is gonna come on in, watch your step. Try not to knock anything over. You. Come on in, come on in, come on in. We’ll get we can get more there’s more room in here in the studio. And we can look around a little bit.

Rufus T. Rufus 0:18
Now,

everybody Aloysius J pig here, he’s given us a tour, and

I Rufus T roof isn’t just here, you know, just as for more managerial perspective, and I just kinda, you know, just want to make things go smoothly as we move into this next phase of our project. Yes. And just make sure you avoid the wires. There’s a lot of wires everywhere, but you can see the part that stood here in the things the plugs in everything’s just, you know, just what we were saying. Just be very careful as you come into this space, this studio here, where we do make the recordings for the band

Turkey, I admit it, but you do have a good point. Yeah, yeah, he

Aloysius J. Pig 1:12
does have a good point, you know, with the bumper podcast thing that we’re kind of moving on from that against, but for right now, it’s fine. You know, it doesn’t confuse anybody. This is a studio where we record a bumper podcast, we’re recording a podcast and we’re just trying to figure out what we’re doing here moving forward

Manager 1:36
maybe be your manager.

Rufus T. Rufus 1:39
Now hold on one second. Because I’m, I mean, I’m the lawyer but I’m also the manager of the podcast and the whole the whole headquarters here. Just

Aloysius J. Pig 1:50
let him Let him talk. Alright, this Hold on

Rufus T. Rufus 2:03
No, apologies. You just started to be over here, I suppose taking notes and making sure everything stays above the board and that nothing is going to impact the bottom line. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, I

Aloysius J. Pig 2:17
think everybody knows what you’re saying. All right. So back to the matter at hand. So this is the studio we used to record a bumper podcast here. I’m Aloysius jpg gets full press T Rufus over there is produced and obviously missing from the equation. He’s Natty Bumpercar We haven’t seen him in a long time. So that’s why we’ve reached out to you

Manager 2:41
because it’s nice to meet you. I’m glad that you called me and I’m looking around here and I can see

Aloysius J. Pig 2:52
all right that I mean that sounds good and a lot a lot of stuff we can do as soon as we can. I mean that makes sense to me. We want to get me well we do when we get started as soon as possible because we’ve been kind of languishing I think is the proper time

Rufus T. Rufus 3:13
again, Turkey is seeing things from a perspective that I feel like none of us even consider it well said Turkana Aloysius What do you think about that? That that that point there that took it just me When

Aloysius J. Pig 3:28
did you intend to become such good pals? This is a nice relationship friendship, whatever, that I had no idea. Yeah, Turkey yet. That does make sense. We don’t want to just like trash everything. Throw everything away. Maybe we can get some storage boxes, we can put things you know, I think there’s probably some room over in the shed.

Producer 3:48
Which which shed are we talking about? Are we talking about the the big shade or the or the Play Stick shade? Or this is a lot of shade around? You know,

Rufus T. Rufus 3:58
I mean, it could be you’re seeing the blue shed that’s out back? It could be the green shed, it’s out front?

Producer 4:07
I mean,

Rufus T. Rufus 4:08
I don’t understand what natty was doing. How do you collect shapes like it sheds is something that you’re going to store stuff in? So why would you just keep getting more and more sheds like we it looks if I look around at corners up there. It looks like we’re like a Mr. Shit like we’re gonna be selling shit at some point. You know? Like, come on down to guess bumper cars crazy shit Emporium. Where you can buy the best stop pointing

Manager 4:49
gonna stick around we’re not gonna do bird we’re not gonna do none of those. Well,

Aloysius J. Pig 4:58
no. Okay, well gonna know tangents that’s Wow, that is gonna be quite different because normally this show exists to just just to tangent like so like we look like instead of a road like uncooked spaghetti which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around the dike that’s kind of you guys think of pasta for lunch? Maybe? Yeah,

Rufus T. Rufus 5:29
I could certainly go over some pasta. You know, this weekend, we got a big game. And so I want to Cabo row.

Producer 5:37
Right, exactly. She’s kind of loud. What do you what is he talking about?

Rufus T. Rufus 5:45
Turkey, you know, so? Yeah.

So listen, so what we do before the big game, is we eat a lot of carbohydrates, because it makes it better have more energy mix was much more, you know, just more of a spark, you know, it gives us a good bit of fuel for when we can go out on the field and, you know, make moves and do what we do whatever them. So that’s what is carbo loading.

And then you’re ready to go. Yeah.

Aloysius J. Pig 6:18
So I think producing is a little confused. What exactly is this big game that you’re playing? And who is playing in it? And what where is it? I don’t know. Just explain a little bit this this whole game thing that you’re talking about?

Producer 6:37
No, no, we didn’t get the email, I guess. I guess, maybe just you and the roof is we’re talking about these intramural sports that you’re doing between different podcasts. And I said, and I checked my email all the time. And I said, I’m looking now there’s no mercy from you. 30. I’m looking in my spam. Sorry, Emily. She’s looking out through everything and they don’t see any messages from any of you.

Manager 7:12
Red Line over there on the red line. Even me

Aloysius J. Pig 7:15
not a red light this mean check Tia, I think it means that the power is on. And I still with that? I

Producer 7:22
think that we’re recording I would think yes, yes, the red light. It doesn’t mean the powder is on it just means that we are recording the things that are transpiring here in the studio

Manager 7:39
recording on the podcast, everything you

Rufus T. Rufus 7:48
know, we got to do here is anytime anybody really goes into the studio, we start recording and the light The light is read over the you know, and that just means that we are recording the podcast and or recording something that you know, I guess well

Aloysius J. Pig 8:12
is we have a difficult time of keeping to a schedule. And you know, these people out there in the world, they want to live there, like hey, we want to know the day and the time that your pod gates is going to come out every single week and we don’t have that capability. And so what we do, a lot of the time is if we’re gonna have a conversation, it’s like hold on, let’s just go talk into studio producer came you know, turn on record and then bang, bang, boom, we got another podcast

Manager 8:49
this is going to be a podcast I don’t even know what kind of a situation I’ve gotten myself into. was gonna come in a few walls. And then be with

Rufus T. Rufus 9:08
I mean, I thought we were just hanging out lollygag and a bit just, you know, just talking to talk a little pod cast, team to podcast, Matt and Mr. We’re gonna knock down walls. I don’t doesn’t make no sense to me. Where’s the budget for that?

Producer 9:30
Yes. So ever reaches the budget is we don’t have any money right now. But what we started thinking about was doing some sort of fundraisers, or the podcast, you know, like, I think we were thinking of maybe doing a car wash,

Aloysius J. Pig 9:47
I will not be washing cars. Do you get me for no sir. I will not be doing that. Duly noted.

Producer 9:56
Then we were also thinking you No going around and sending cookies didn’t even like boxes of cookies, people love cookies.

Rufus T. Rufus 10:08
I do think to be honest, I love cookies and all that. And I think everyone here understands the legal ramifications. So the girls that don’t go around and they sell the cookies every year and we can’t begin that that tour tour is taken, we can’t jump in there, we’re gonna they’re very tough group we’re not gonna I don’t not want to tussle with looking at cookie girls. So I think that’s not a good idea either.

Aloysius J. Pig 10:36
I don’t want to fit. This is an EN tz no tassel endzone. Also, this is an I’m starvin zone because earlier we’re talking about pasta. And then now we’re talking about cookies all of a sudden, so it’s just like that sounds like an entree and a dessert to me, which is a meal and kind of where my mind is now I’ve kind of given up on this whole room thing this is this podcast managed to help or whatever and I think we should probably break for lunch or whatever what time is it whatever it was so whatever meal people eat at at 330 I don’t know

Manager 11:28
talk about you guys are just gonna go to 330 meals.

Rufus T. Rufus 11:36
I’m not concerned about what the meal is. But I don’t know if everybody else is here.

I always don’t like to detract from people who are here especially people who are trying to help us but you’ll your voice is grading it. It’s I don’t know what it is about it. But I do feel like Allah which is if we’re gonna start having people on the show. Let’s talk to him a little bit before we come in the studio. We can tell producer like hey, do not record this. This is not gonna sound good, be pleasing to people

Manager 12:16
and you ain’t even one being I got a podcast and you want to stay

Aloysius J. Pig 12:27
turnkey come on

Outro 12:42
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

Welcome to Coffee Can Alley! Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproariously silly improvised comedy.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page

Transcription

Natty Bumpercar 0:08
All right. Hey, how does work for the podcast like in normal life? If you’re near someone and then they yawn, then for some reason, I don’t know what you but you yawn as well. I do. I don’t know if you do. I think you do. Do you? Why is that? It’s like a yawn response. Like, why are we why are we triggered? I’m just I’m glad doesn’t happen when we sneeze, like one person sneezes, and then the whole table sneezing? That’d be terrible. But yawning, that’s weird to like, why? Anyway, I apologize. I didn’t mean to yawn. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is a bumper podcast I I had been out and about and I, you know, I’m, I’m working on the show here. Go into the different the different countries where the bumper podcast is on the charts. It’s actually we were we’ve made it to the charts. And, you know, talking to people, oh, they said, you need a theme song. Gotta go get a theme song. I was just like, ah, we okay, we’ll get a theme song. And then they’re like, you know, you got to do everybody don’t have an opinion, you know what you got to do? And I was just like, I don’t know, what’s, what am I supposed to do? And then they tell me all these things. And I, at some point, while they’re speaking, my eyes kind of glaze over. And my brain goes to another place. And if I’m to be completely honest, I don’t know what they’ve said to me. But I’m sure they’ve given me great advice. And then I feel guilty, because these people have given their time to try to tell me, you know, get to help me to tell me what to do. And then I don’t even listen. How ungrateful is that? Tremendously ungrateful? Huh? Well, else is going on. I’ve been working on the railroad, like, Oh, my live long days. But mostly, I’ve been working on the railroad, just just to pass the time away. Because I’m not busy enough. I I like to I like to I have a therapist, I was talking to my therapist about. She said, You seem overwhelmed. seem like you’re taking too much stuff on I was just like, Yeah. And she’s like, but you I know you like to do that. And you told me that, you know, as long as you’re feeling okay, then that’s okay. Are you feeling okay? And I was like, No. And so then she was like, well, then you need to take some stuff off of your plate, and stop doing as much stuff. And I was just like, Okay, that sounds good. And practice, those are good words, have no idea how to actually make that happen. And then she said, Well, your session is over, and come back in a couple of weeks. And by that time, either, you will have figured it out. Or we can work on it then, or knowing you, you’re probably gonna start three more companies and take on 16 more impossible tasks. And I was just like, all right, that sounds like a challenge. That’s your it seems like you’re saying, Can you do these things? And I’m going to tell you right now, yes, I can. I can. I can do all those things. And I’m here to tell you a bumper podcast I’ve I’ve succeeded in doing that. I am quite proud of myself. And I feel like you should be quite proud of me as well. Because I have managed to, not only not complete, not finish any projects, but I have managed to actually take more projects on. It’s very impressive. It’s my superpower. Really, if I had to, you know, figure that I have a superpower I think it’s going to be that I just continually add on to the pile it’s almost like a weighted blanket. It’s not you know, it’s like oh, the world is so nice and calm it’s not but you know, just for the sake of this relaxing the world of this world. Oh spring its spring again. It’s not Oh, look out. The weather’s beautiful and my I’ve had a nice meal again. You don’t haven’t really eaten today, but that’s my fault. There’s not any reason other than me. Okay, Oh, perfect. Everything great. Oh, Ah, you know, and then you go, you know what I’m going to do? I’m not going to take on all a lot of projects, I’m going to take on the appropriate amount of projects, which is not because life itself is a project, taking care of the kids having the job taking care of the dogs, these are all projects, making sure that the car is working properly, making sure that you know, there’s just there’s in life, there’s this massive list, it seems of things you can’t get away from. And you know, those are big responsibility. And make sure the kids brush their teeth. Did they? Do they floss their teeth? Oh, I don’t know. Look, that one’s already asleep. How do I get him to brush his teeth when he’s already asleep? So then, why in the world? Would I go and look for more things, more responsibilities to add on to the file? Now? I don’t know. I don’t know. I mean, I’m, I’m, I’m asking you a question. Because I don’t know the answer. And I wish I did. Sometimes, I think that what I do, and maybe we’ve talked about this before, I honestly don’t remember, and I apologize for that. But what I like to do is if I just keep adding more stuff on to my weighted blanket of life, then well, I don’t know what I think is gonna happen with what ends up happening is the weighted blanket gets so heavy with all the responsibilities that I can’t move. And then you know what I do? I sleep under the weighted blanket, it’s very warm. I must say. The dogs love it, because I’m not moving so they can just curl right up to me. I had no idea like, I’ve had dogs before, but I had no idea how much the dogs that they’d like to sleep. Like, that’s all they do really asleep. All right, come for podcast. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in the middle of recording a really great episode of your podcast, which I understand is not what we were doing a second ago there. But let’s say that I was recording a really good episode of the podcast. And you know, you’re just really moving and you’re talking and you’re saying things and you’re like, Yeah, this feels great. And then your kid bursts in and says, Hey, stop talking to your computer. And I’m just like, oh, that really, really boils it down, doesn’t it? That really hurts. Stop talking to your computer, dad. Ouch. Ha. Because I mean, I mean, in essence, that’s all I’m doing really is I’m talking. I mean, I’m looking at a computer. I’m talking into a microphone. And, you know, I have I have headphones on so that, you know, there’s there’s, you know, there’s a few things that are going on. But I felt like he had gotten me good enough that there was no reason for me to, to try to retort to try to try to come back. He had beaten me down as only your children can. What was I talking about? It is that’s the thing. This was yesterday. And now it’s today. And I I don’t know. I? I wasn’t ready to you know, I yesterday, I ate oatmeal for breakfast. And today, I ate grits. grits are just little tiny bits of corn. And there were some cheese in it and some pepper and a little bit of garlic salt. If I’m to be completely honest, maybe maybe some cheese, maybe maybe more cheese than I intended. But you know, that’s how cheese works. And they say how much cheese would you like on this year, like, keep going and then it’s always just a little bit more than you anticipated or wanted. And that’s fine. It’s a good problem to have. It’s different than like gasoline in your car. Right with cheese. They say how much do you get like, fill it up? Keep going. Let’s go. And they’re like, What does fill it up mean with cheese? And you’re like, I don’t know, but we’re on this journey together. Let’s see what happens. So you know, if you do that at a gas station, you’re filling your car up and we’re like, what did you What do you want? You’re like, fill it up and they’re like, Okay, no problem and then they do and then you know the little gas handle thing goes click one because that means it’s full. It’s registered that the car is full and gas and you’re like, you know what, let’s keep going there. You can’t because then the gas spills everywhere and And then you know, it’s a fire hazard. Cheese, not so much. The only hazard that Jesus is a fun hazard

for maj hazard. I don’t know what it is. So anyway, you know, I think I was saying something about the dogs being lazy. I don’t know why I think that but I, this is kind of always on my mind how lazy the dogs are, the only time the dogs get up. And this is nice of them is when they have to use the restroom, which is what we call our back yard now because that’s, you know, what happens back there. It’s it’s, and they get up when they when they’re hungry. And they get up to, to bark, sometimes to shake, you know, a lot of shaking going on. Little ear scratching, that’s gonna it’s gonna happen probably two or three in the morning. Which is I think why they sleep all the time. I think the dogs sleep all the time, because they don’t just sleep through the night. And they don’t let me sleep through the night. And I think that the message they’re trying to tell me is, hey, you know what, why don’t you just hop on our schedule here and curl up into a ball, find one ray of sunshine, curl up in that little ray of sunshine, and pretend that it’s really warming you up? It’s not, but you can pretend it is. My assumption is that my dogs have very good imagination, and that they can really, you’re like, Yep, this is it’s woof, the sun is really giving it to me here. It’s kind of like when the door opens. And there’s a couple of birds in the backyard. And they run over to what I can only assume is to talk to the birds. Let them know hey, what’s going on? I haven’t seen in a while ah, spring is coming up. But then do the birds always fly off because they don’t want any part of that conversation. Right? I don’t know. I would love to have that conversation. I would love for spring to be here. Because you know what happens when when spring rolls around? Well, I get to sleep better because the time change is nice. There’s sun and there’s vitamins. And the most important thing of all, and I think you’re gonna agree with me then this thing here but Bob louder is that there’s a lot of cheese

Outro 12:42
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

NonPro 14:01
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Welcome to Coffee Can Alley! Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproariously silly improvised comedy. In this episode, Pig tries to get to the bottom of some things while Producer and Rufus T. Rufus do anything but figure anything out!

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Step into the whimsical world of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproarious improvised comedy. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar does some lamenting. A whole lot of lamenting.

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