Joe Carney: Becoming my parents – Learning Manners


I know that the past few weeks I’ve told you all about my transition into my father and the reluctant white flag I wave when I see it coming. Well, this week I was given a reprieve. I actually relived a childhood experience from when I was about 10 years old. The only difference was the actors in the play.  I portrayed my mother in this particular action/comedy.

I’d like to give you a little background into the original actor, my mom (Ceilie baby). The best and most accurate way to describe her is a more street savvy version of Judge Judy. From her ability to tell you what she thinks of you in a sarcastic, yet humorous tone to her facial expressions and disapproving sighs which let you know that you are a moron. I have inherited her wonderful “say what I want and you can kiss my ass” approach to life and everyone in it. If we love you, you will know it on a daily basis. If we don’t like you, sure-as-shit, you will know that too. It may seem excessive at times or a little too passionate, but you will always know where we stand.

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The Debate

couple2There’s always the debate of the single life being better than in a relationship life or vice versa. My blog today focuses on that. I’m going to break both into Pros and Cons. We’ve all had that thought cross our mind. Hell, when we’re single we think during our dry spell, “Man…I wish I had someone to watch Family Guy with me.” (That is totally not a personal thought.). Then, when we’re in a relationship 5 months or a year in and think, “WOW! I want to be down the shore partying with my boys!!” We can’t have the best of both worlds (Actually, we can. Ya got to be sneaky though because if you get caught, Armageddon’s going to happen and I do not mean the movie…well it could be like the movie because you’ll end up being upset/pissed because Bruce Willis dies.) Also, I’m married so this is all very neutral (I don’t want my wife to kill me, LOVE YOU BABE!)

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chipps-2As fans of the hit television show America’s Got Talent already know Chipps Cooney is a crazy and hilarious magician. What many don’t know is what Chipps does know, which is how to make it and stay in the entertainment industry. Just following his weekend opening for Gilbert Gottfried on Thursday and Dave Attell on Friday and performing on Saturday at The Stress Factory in New Brunswick, NJ,   I was able to catch up with the legend and get some history.

Q. Chipps, how did you do The Stress Factory for two separate headliners?

A. Vinnie Brand had me open for Dave and since I was already there for the weekend, Omnipop asked if I could open for Gilbert.

Q. You must know everyone. How long have you been doing this?

A. 30 years. I used to play in a band, as a drummer, just goofing around on the stage.  My first gig was at a jazz club, Brady Haze. I don’t think they’re around anymore.

(He won’t tell me how old he is but he says he went to BABE RUTH’s funeral.)

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SCREECH performing comedy in Jersey this weekend!

screechFor those who grew up watching Saved By The Bell on Saturday mornings, you know that what started as an innocent teenage sitcom become a pop culture phenomenon. Characters like Zach Morris, Kelly Kapowski and AC Slater became larger than life and went on to have some very successful Hollywood careers as actors.  But only one of those teen superstars is still instantly recognizable by one name, even twenty plus years after the show debuted…and that is SCREECH!

The actor who played the show’s resident nerd is Dustin Diamond, and he has parlayed his success as Screech into many avenues such as acting, adult films, and celebrity competition shows.  Now Dustin has brought his other passion out to New Jersey: stand-up comedy.  Dustin has been performing stand-up comedy since 2000 and has performed all over the country.  This Saturday July 20th, Dustin Diamond will be headlining a night of stand-up comedy at the The CrossRoads Café in Garwood, NJ.  The show starts at 7:00pm.

CrossRoads has been open since 1996 and has made a name for itself on the national music scene for booking famous jazz acts and for booking some of the east coast’s great up and coming rock talent.  CrossRoads has had some great local talent at the venue before, as they host shows by the Dumb Kids in the Back Comedy Troupe and are the home to the Rock and Roll Comedy Show.   Owner Lee Frankel is very happy to host the nationally recognized Dustin Diamond at his spot, and believes that his audience will really enjoy the show.

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boblevyMany of you already know Bob Levy through the Artie Lang Show or Opie and Anthony. But you may be surprised to read some updated information about the Reverend before you see him at The Otto and George Fundraiser in July.

Q. Are you really a reverend?

A. Yeah. I have the paperwork to prove it.

Q. Where you born in NJ?

A. No, Brooklyn. But I live in south Jersey now, just outside of Philly.

Q. How did you become a regular on the Artie Lange Show?

A. I’ve known Artie for years. We met through (Howard) Stern. When I was part of “The Meanest Listener”.

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CAPE MAY COMEDY FESTIVAL: Bringing Funny Back Where It Belongs!

CMCF Postcard FrontComedy is coming back to the greatest state in the world this summer!  The internationally respected Cape May Comedy Festival is coming July 26-28, 2013 and touts performances by America’s top comedians, a stand-up comedy competition, workshops and an outdoor comedy carnival.

The Cape May Comedy Festival will be an all-encompassing town wide event. National headliners including Gilbert Gottfried produced by Catch a Rising Star and Two Funny Philly Guys featuring Joe Conklin and Big Daddy Graham will perform at the main stage at Convention Hall on Friday and Saturday. Other shows throughout town include The Wiseguyz of Comedy featuring Reverend Bob Levy from the Howard Stern Show, Ladies of Laughter, Hometown Heroes, Laugh with Pride, Deceptimcomics and an open mic hosted by High Note Humor. These shows will be occurring at staggered times at venues throughout the city such as The Grand Hotel, The Chalfonte, VFW Post 386, A Ca Mia, Pilot House and The Emlen Physick Estate.

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conte3Joe Conte has been able to take his experience of being a chubby, attention seeking, oldest of three children in an Italian American household and make it sound like he actually had fun. As you may know he is one of the hosts of the CONTE AND KENNY SHOW on, right here on GARDEN STATE COMEDY, and a regular at THE COMEDY SHOPPE.

When I was able to catch him on the phone for this Question and Answer session about what it means to be Joe Conte, we talked about some of the normal topics you may here in an interview, but it turned into a quite informative session and…

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What Your favorite superhero says about you, and why Superman fans lack character.


It has been said that by analyzing a person’s hero, that you can learn a lot about that person.   The individual that someone chooses to look up to and emulate often shows a lot about what characteristics and qualities that person respects.  We usually choose heroes for ourselves based on endearing qualities such as hard work, courage, talent, discipline, or even empathy.  Heroes in the real world begin as regular people who sometime accomplish great things, such as Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King Jr. or Buzz Aldrin.   Sports athletes are looked upon as heroes when they accomplish something great that no athlete has done before.  Most consider our military soldiers as the ultimate heroes, as they sacrifice their own lives for the greater good of an entire country.

But each individual usually has a hero of their own.  Someone they can strive to be.  It could be a father, an older brother, a professional mentor, or anyone who has accomplished something by overcoming large obstacles and defying the odds.  Heroes are the inspiration for the rest of us to push harder and stronger than anyone else.  To be the David to the world’s Goliaths.  To be a Spud Webb in a world of 7 footers.  To be Ghandi in a world of hatred and anger.

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HAHA’s for PAWS: Making Laughs to Benefit Stray Animals


They say that laughter is the best medicine, and when used properly, I strongly agree that it is.  Using comedy as a fundraiser is a great idea for any organization or group, and some local comedians are putting their ability to get some chuckles to raise funds for a great cause this Sunday night July 7, 2013.  The show is hosted by Fourfourteen Entertainment and will be held at Tierney’s Tavern on Valley Road in Montclair, starting at 8:00pm.

To benefit PAWS in Montclair, local comedy scene favorite Natty Bumpercar has agreed to sacrifice himself as the “victim” in a celebrity style roast featuring some of the area’s funniest and sharpest comics.  Natty has been performing comedy for over 20 years and has been a staple in the North Jersey scene for the past 4 years.  He has been seen at Greenwich Village Comedy Club, Broadway Comedy Club, and was part of the Jersey City Comedy Festival.  He was on MTV’s Lip Service and has a weekly podcast.  He also has performed improv comedy at NY’s UCB and as part of New Jersey’s Dumb Kids In The Back.

Natty will be roasted by some of the funniest comedians from NYC and NJ, who are donating their time to benefit PAWS.  The show roster includes Buddy Flip, Christine Grillon, Joe Carney, Kevin Garifo, Brett Druck, Rich McDonald and others and is hosted by Adam Lucidi.

PAWS Montclair is a non-profit humane organization that has celebrated over 35 years of helping homeless animals in their community.

Lady Gaga Annoys Me

Screen Shot 2013-07-01 at 12.14.44 PMBefore I start. She has a very talented voice. She is the second person most liked on Facebook (behind Eminem). I like how she’s very supportive to her fans or should I say “Little Monsters” (I think that nickname is SUPER f***ing corny). She even has “Little Monsters” tattooed on her arm. She collaborated with The Lonely Island and Justin Timberlake for the song “3-Way (Freaking Hilarious). I am not irritated with her ability as a singer. What I am irritated/annoyed with is…why…OH, why…does she dress the way she dress. I get you have to have a look, but when every look you use is like a bad Andy Warhol acid trip, it just screams, “I want attention!!!!!”.

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