Lady Gaga Annoys Me

Screen Shot 2013-07-01 at 12.14.44 PMBefore I start. She has a very talented voice. She is the second person most liked on Facebook (behind Eminem). I like how she’s very supportive to her fans or should I say “Little Monsters” (I think that nickname is SUPER f***ing corny). She even has “Little Monsters” tattooed on her arm. She collaborated with The Lonely Island and Justin Timberlake for the song “3-Way (Freaking Hilarious). I am not irritated with her ability as a singer. What I am irritated/annoyed with is…why…OH, why…does she dress the way she dress. I get you have to have a look, but when every look you use is like a bad Andy Warhol acid trip, it just screams, “I want attention!!!!!”.

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Joe Carney: Becoming my parents – The Tighty Whities Incident

joe-3Welp. This one is a winner. I had a situation arise this past weekend that completely took me by surprise. When things I do start out gradually, I can prepare for the inevitable, and make room for the change that is coming my way. I knew that my addiction to ball powder was getting severe when I started bringing travel size Gold Bond to work or kept a spare bottle in my truck “just in case”. I was able to accept it, realize it had some sort of hereditary significance and adapt. Not this time.

I was contacted a few weeks ago and asked to be a guest speaker at a local awards night. They wanted someone familiar with the community who played sports and had some interesting stories to tell. I was honored to talk about my attempts at comedy and acting (note: attempts). For a virtual no name comic to be considered interesting enough to someone that they asked you to talk about yourself was pretty cool. I talked about my first brush with fame at 10 years old when I won a Michael Jackson look-a-like contest beating out 3 grown black men. True story, stay tuned down the road for that fun and exciting time in my youth. Dress the fat kid up like a small black man and parade him around. Great idea, Mom! I never knew why I couldn’t find a girlfriend. But I’m getting off the subject, back to the morphing.

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Twitter: The Safest Way to Share Post-Prom Pictures…Said No One Ever

promThere are a lot of crazy activities that go on during Prom Weekend, and none of them are parent-friendly. My mother would have been frantic if she learned I wasn’t taking my vitamins everyday. Most teenagers try to lie to their parents after a weekend in Seaside in order to protect their innocent image, but I didn’t revert to this tactic. I was perfectly honest about all of the Monopoly and SAT-Review Games that I played Saturday night. Unlike others of my age, I know better than to lie. No matter how beautifully I craft a story, it doesn’t matter because somebody will spoil it with the ultimate tattletale technology — Twitter.

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The Gifts of Laughter and Song Brought Together!!

sparks_headshot_2012There are some combinations which seem to be perfectly together, such as peanut butter and chocolate, rice and beans, or Abbott and Costello. But recently we are seeing another combination of two great things put together as one to create something unique and satisfying. It is the combination of comedy and music. Read more

My Tale from Clinton Road

clinton-2Every small town has that one creepy house, graveyard or abandoned lunatic asylum. West Milford has the mysterious Clinton Road and the equally spooky Clinton Castle. Rumors said that it was built in the 1600s by some heretic settler who spent his nights in debauched activities with the local virgins and livestock. It was actually built 1907—in  1600s the only people in the area where Ramapough Indians and a handful of Dutch settlers. But that’s not a creepy story. Except many for the Ramapough. Read more

Joe Carney: Becoming my parents

carney-2

Hi, my name is Joe Carney and I am becoming my parents. That’s right the very people I spent my entire teenage existence , my hard partying 20s and now, most of my parenting 30s avoiding any similarities to. It is not that they weren’t awesome parents or that they were creepy or smelled funny. They were actually great parents, and still are, but I think that it is common nature to want to choose an alternate path than your parents did, have a different outlook on life, and raise your kids just slightly (or totally) different than you were raised. You want to wear cool clothes that fit correctly with ‘non-sensible” shoes. We don’t want to spew corny or clichéd sayings at the kids and maybe, just maybe, stay cool enough to play wiffle ball with the neighborhood kids.  These things weren’t constantly on my mind but they are certainly first in line in my subconscious and they will claim victory or failure when they come to pass. Read more

What Are Facebook Statuses Doing to Our Society?

facebook-1We all go on Facebook nowadays (If AOL 6.0 and Myspace made love, THIS would be their baby).  We go on it dozens of times during the day. It’s the webpage form of opening our fridge, looking inside, closing our fridge, and going back at it again in 5 minutes.  One of the many beauties of it is the Facebook status.  It can show us how we feel, what we’re doing, and how great we’re coping with a break up (and not coping with the break up).  Here I sum up the common Facebook statuses we see every week, enjoy! Read more

Faking It

open-micThere are some scary things out there—root canals, shark attacks, the Kardashians—but one of the most frightening things I’ve encountered is the Open Mic. The Open Mic is the forum for comics to test out new material in hopes that you’ve got some comic gold. Most of us mine through acres of crap for a precious gem that can make peer comics laugh so hard that beer shoots out their nose. Most of the time, you are performing to a room full (if you are lucky) of bowed heads; not in reverence, but in study. They are pouring over their notebooks, iPhones and even a few scribbled napkins mining for gold in their own untested material. Read more

Reasons Why Parents Shouldn’t Have Facebook…Especially Mine!

facebook1 It was a Wednesday night. About ten o’clock. I had just finished my essay for English class, titled “Why Reading Crime and Punishment is Actually a Crime and Punishment,” when it happened. After three dreadful hours of poring through pages of 19th Century-Russian literature, I was finally able to open my laptop and log onto the social capital of the world: Facebook. Immediately upon entering, I noticed a new notification, signaling a “Friend Request.”  Thoughts swarmed in my head when I saw this: “Danny, this could be it! That cute girl from math class whose clothes look they’re from Baby Gap has finally requested you! This could be your moment!” Click. “Wait a minute…this says the request is from ‘Jody New’…that’s not the girl from math class. That’s…that’s my…that’s my Mom!!!!” Read more

Welcome to Garden State Comedy!

NJ-COMEDY2Welcome to Garden State Comedy.  This website is dedicated to all things funny in the greatest state in the world … NEW JERSEY.

The goal of the GSC staff is to create a one stop shop for all comedy fans, humor enthusiasts, and comedians.  Our site will feature articles with humorous points of view on many of the newsworthy topics affecting our state.  We will also showcase local comedians, comedy promoters, and performers in a weekly Spotlight On feature.  To do this, GSC has assembled some of the sharpest and most witty minds around to be contributors to the site. Read more