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Something Funny I Heard: Top 10 Phrases Heard at Stand-Up Open Mics

open-3I go to a fair amount of mics and shows, and one of the things that I enjoy the most are the mainstays. Phrases and seeming non-sequiturs that tend to always be in the air – floating right there in plain site  – just waiting for comics to fumble for them and blurt them out in the middle of their sets.

I realize that I need to clarify. When I say that ‘I enjoy them’, I mean that I enjoy them with the sense of nostalgia and inevitability that you may get when you go to the town where you grew up and seeing that someone from high school is still working at Dairy Queen (eternally about to be manager) – or – when you are about to watch some fireworks and you pull the old, smelly blanket out of your trunk. You experience them, they register in your brain in the ‘Oh, this again?’ folder and then you shake your head as if to say ‘Get away from that Blizzard machine, Larry.’ – or – ‘I’m going to wash you with bleach and oxyclean, blanket, because you deserve it.’ So, I enjoy them as comforting things that seemingly never change. Things that eat up minutes. Things that should be shelved.

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