Posts
Something Funny I Heard: Top 10 Phrases Heard at Stand-Up Open Mics
I go to a fair amount of mics and shows, and one of the things that I enjoy the most are the mainstays. Phrases and seeming non-sequiturs that tend to always be in the air – floating right there in plain site – just waiting for comics to fumble for them and blurt them out in the middle of their sets.
I realize that I need to clarify. When I say that ‘I enjoy them’, I mean that I enjoy them with the sense of nostalgia and inevitability that you may get when you go to the town where you grew up and seeing that someone from high school is still working at Dairy Queen (eternally about to be manager) – or – when you are about to watch some fireworks and you pull the old, smelly blanket out of your trunk. You experience them, they register in your brain in the ‘Oh, this again?’ folder and then you shake your head as if to say ‘Get away from that Blizzard machine, Larry.’ – or – ‘I’m going to wash you with bleach and oxyclean, blanket, because you deserve it.’ So, I enjoy them as comforting things that seemingly never change. Things that eat up minutes. Things that should be shelved.
New Jersey Is The Best State To Live In. PERIOD.
Like 99% of New Jerseyans, I think New Jersey is the best state to live in. We have T.V shows based on the Garden State (I just sort of tagged our website) the big list of celebrities that were born here. We have one of the biggest gambling cities in the country (Atlantic City, just in case you didn’t know) that inspired Monopoly! You’re close to the capital of the world, New York City, so you can visit whenever you want and get shafted by the tunnel fees that will be going up to $15 dollars by 2015! The plus side is at least you don’t live there and have to put up with the urine smell that is really potent on those HOT humid days! Let’s go down the list I made that will make you feel really passionate about Christie’s ‘Stronger than the Storm’ campaign and want to spend a week in Wildwood!
SPOTLIGHT: VINNIE VITALE
Vinnie Vitale is a Hoboken-based comedian who has grown up in New Jersey his whole life. He has appeared on stage at Broadway Comedy Club and Gotham Comedy Club, as well as Carolines where he has opened for Andrew Ginsburg. He is a producer for Comedy Party USA, one of NYC’s longest running underground comedy shows. This FREE comedy show happens every Thursday from 8:30-10pm in the back of The Grisly Pear at 107 Macdougal St. and features some of today’s hottest comics. They also run a monthly comedy contest for new talent to showcase their skills with the chance to win $50 and 2 guest spots on regular Comedy Party USA shows. For anyone interested in finding out more information, please email comedypartyusa@gmail.com or like Comedy Party USA on Facebook.
When Vinnie is not performing comedy, he has taught comedy writing classes in addition to privately coaching other comedians and helping professional speakers incorporate humor in their presentations. He has a website too, if you ever feel like reading his blog: www.vinnievitale.com.
SPOTLIGHT: BOB LEVY
Many of you already know Bob Levy through the Artie Lang Show or Opie and Anthony. But you may be surprised to read some updated information about the Reverend before you see him at The Otto and George Fundraiser in July.
Q. Are you really a reverend?
A. Yeah. I have the paperwork to prove it.
Q. Where you born in NJ?
A. No, Brooklyn. But I live in south Jersey now, just outside of Philly.
Q. How did you become a regular on the Artie Lange Show?
A. I’ve known Artie for years. We met through (Howard) Stern. When I was part of “The Meanest Listener”.
Beyond the Tweets
SOCIAL NETWORKING is an obvious necessity in everyone’s world. All of your friends are on FACEBOOK and TWITTER, you may have some stragglers on MYSPACE or MY_____ or NEWMYSPACE, but if you want fans you need to know how to use social network and realize that they are part of the equation, but not the entirety of your marketing. The only reason you are reading this is because you have a compute and someone suggested it to you. What we need to do is take your page from promotional to productive.
Let’s start with the obvious, invite bombs work for mics, but not really for shows. E-mails, texts, phone calls, friends talking, a sick YOUTUBE clip, i.e. “BREAD AND MILK”-Vic DiBittetto, that drives traffic. You need people to want to check your page to see what you’re going to say/do next. Some comics test jokes on FACEBOOK, and if you get butts into chairs doing that, then continue being relevant on FB. It’s still better than the daily I’M AT THIS CLUB TONIGHT/ I’M DOING A BRINGER PLEASE BUY TICKETS posts.